Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
