My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
