she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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