so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize