i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
