(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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