I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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