You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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