My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize