There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
you made out with another girl for some wings
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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