hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
