I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
jump out the window naked night went bad
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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