this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
