all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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