I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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