She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize