so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize