now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
