Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I wear drunk well.
Randomize