i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Drunk is not a location!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
