I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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