He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
