So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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