Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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