Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
