Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
