He is an equal opportunity slut.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you never un-have a 4some
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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