Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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