Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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