8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Randomize
