Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
