Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
