I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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