Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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