Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Can I color on your dick again?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
