made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize