Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
