Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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