OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
