I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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