They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
