I'm lost and stupid without you.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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