Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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