I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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