Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
tell me about the eggs
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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