Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
