1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
