Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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