biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
