I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
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Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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