it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
