Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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