My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
