Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
