My cat gives me a boner
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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