i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
