It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
She's the barista slut.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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