Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
