Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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